Lowkey best TV couple: Issa and Lawrence

When I first heard of the HBO comedy show, Insecure, back when it premiered in 2016, I was shocked by the courage creator Issa Rae had in using that word: Insecure. I just didn’t know you could say you felt insecure out loud. My boyfriend and I watched it together every Sunday night, and I was surprised that he could be into a TV show with two female protagonists, Issa Dee played by Issa Rae, and Molly Carter portrayed by Yvonne Orji. As that first season progressed, it became obvious why the show was so popular with both men and women: the characters and dialogue were as real and authentic as Issa’s natural hair. We’ve remained fans ever since and were ecstatic after an almost two-year break for the return of its fourth season and the return of Issa and Lawrence (brought to life by Jay Ellis), amidst one hell of a 2020 that no one could’ve predicted. After the death of George Floyd and the protests that followed, writer Danielle Turchiano asks Insecure writer Natasha Rothwell, in her article, “Insecure’s Natasha Rothwell on ‘Subversive’ Activism…” if she feels added pressure to depict the humanity of black people. Natasha’s answer reflects what has always been so great about Insecure: “[In “Insecure”] showing Issa, who is painfully ordinary is extraordinary as a result—because she’s just a regular girl with regular problems going through the world. She’s not the magical negro, she’s not the best friend, she’s not a nurse, she’s not fixing white people’s problems: She’s just as flawed as the next person.” Issa can also be as awkward as a teenager, which is funny as hell.

I love the nod to another great black show, Girlfriends because a big part of Insecure centers around the friendship of Molly and Issa, who’ve been best friends since college. Throughout the four seasons of the series, their friendship rises and falls, and it’s that, along with the romantic relationship between Issa and Lawrence, of whether or not they will get back together, that has kept us glued to the screen. It was especially a welcome reprieve during these difficult times. Since its first season, Insecure has ingrained itself in the culture with a fierce debate ensuing after Issa cheats on Lawrence, her unemployed boyfriend of five years. Taking sides, audiences were divided about who was to blame for the breakup—was Issa wrong for cheating on her live-in boyfriend, who had been working on his business plan for four years, or did it fall on Lawrence for not getting his shit together sooner? In the pilot, it’s Issa’s 29th birthday, and she’s bored with her relationship, choosing to forgo a night on the couch with her man to run into an ex-boyfriend at a club. On her way out, she says to Lawrence, “Sometimes I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing.” Lawrence frowns, confused, and replies, “Uh, we’re together?” And this is the start of the realest relationship with the most relatable dialogue that we’ve seen on TV.

I think there should be no debate as to whose fault it was that Issa and Lawrence’s relationship crumbled—Issa. I was furious with her when she cheated on Lawrence with Daniel, scolding her while the scene unfolded, nervous for her that she had broken Lawrence’s trust before officially breaking things off with him. I read some articles that stated Lawrence was a divisive character, or the writer didn’t think Lawrence was interesting enough and should be written off the show. I was surprised and annoyed by the hate because it seemed to me like they were okay with Issa figuring her shit out, but Lawrence couldn’t because he’s a guy? The success of the show has a lot to do with how real the men are written—most importantly, Lawrence—so to suggest that he’s a disposable character is just wrong. Watching Issa that first season, she didn’t know what she wanted, or if she did, she sure as hell didn’t know how to ask Lawrence for it. For the next two seasons, we watched Lawrence and Issa separately living their lives, hooking up with other people, figuring themselves out meanwhile awkwardly running into each other from time to time. (The awkward moments are one of the many things the show gets hilariously right. The first scene of the pilot is iconic.) Following Lawrence’s journey after he stormed out of Issa’s apartment and out of her life was the first clue that their relationship wasn’t over; somehow, we would see these two back together again. Until season four, I wasn’t aware that we were watching this great love story. And then bam! The Insecure writers gave us an exciting episode in season four, “Lowkey Happy”—lowkey the best episode of the show—where Issa and Lawrence reunite for a date, both awkward to see each other. They were finally going to do what we’ve been waiting years for them to do. Talk. 

I was as giddy as a kid on a carousel during Lawrence and Issa’s dinner where they put the question we all wonder out on the table: What would’ve happened if they stayed together? And this was the perfect time to discuss it; it couldn’t have happened sooner. They were finally at the place where they could have an honest and difficult conversation about what went wrong on both sides. What led Issa to cheat? In the same article, Rothwell explains why this was the perfect moment to have that conversation: “They wouldn’t revert back to immature responses; they were able to be vulnerable and really hear the other person. It felt like a great opportunity to also show their own individual growth — and a unique opportunity to show in a black relationship where there is infidelity, the woman’s part.” We rarely see black love stories on TV; we even more rarely see the woman cheat, which could be why viewers were justifying Issa’s betrayal. They shouldn’t. As soon as Issa learned that Daniel wasn’t looking for a relationship but a hook-up, she realized what she was losing with Lawrence: a best friend, a faithful man, a relationship. That’s why it’s hilarious when Lawrence reveals to Issa in “Lowkey Happy” that he had bought her a ring! I cracked up when, after Issa looked downcast, Lawrence chuckled gleefully and said, “Aww, you just realized you ain’t shit!” It was a moment of redemption for him. Speaking to Maria Elena Fernandez for her article, “Insecure’s Jay Ellis Is Convinced That Issa and Lawrence Are Soul Mates,” Ellis says of Issa and Lawrence’s reunion in the eighth episode: “It felt like love. It felt like friendship. It felt like soul mates. It felt like our show is so universal.” That’s why that scene was the best of the show; we have these two people who know each other so well, who can be real with each other, laugh with each other, and each sees the growth the other has made, which is responsible for getting them to this moment of reconciliation. I swooned.

Vulture curated a list ranking the men of Insecure, and while the list was all over the place, I’ll focus my irritation on Lawrence’s ranking: he placed twenty-two, just a few spots above Daniel, a fuck boy, and Dro, a married man who fucked Molly every chance he got! Why did Lawrence land at the bottom of this ridiculous list? All because Issa endured years of being in a relationship with a man who, according to the article, “had no job and no ambitions and no plans and no initiative to be a good partner”! He was working on a business plan! And let’s remember, after their breakup, he got a job. I actually came across an article where the writer asks how much Lawrence really grew if all he got was a haircut and a job?! I don’t know what people want from him, but even Issa realized she was in a good, committed relationship with her best friend because as soon as Lawrence learned that Issa fucked up and left her, she wanted him back like little Michael begging for his girl on “I Want You Back.” Even Molly had to check her about not being good enough for Lawrence. The truth is they both needed time to evolve to be the happy individuals they encountered in season four: That’s what your late twenties are all about. Issa’s growth is highlighted when, at the end of the episode in Lawrence’s apartment, she finally takes matters into her own hands and tells him she wants to stay the night. If she hadn’t said anything, if she didn’t know what she wanted, she would’ve lost Lawrence.          

If you watch the show, you know the twist at the end complicates their rekindled relationship. We don’t know if they’ll make it as a couple, and it’s infuriating. Despite the challenges that they face now, or maybe because of it, they’re one of the best couples on television right now, and we don’t have many black couples on TV. It’s important to watch black stories, to support black creatives, and Insecure is one show you don’t want to miss. I’m thrilled the talented writers and actors of Insecure are receiving the recognition they deserve when they were nominated for eight Emmys this year. Hopefully, they win. The Emmys forgot to nominate Jay Ellis for his work, but that’s okay because I think we’ll continue to see more of him. Whether Lawrence is with Issa romantically or not, their chemistry and history are too titillating to ignore.   

Fernandez, Maria Elena. “Insecure’s Jay Ellis Is Convinced That Issa and Lawrence Are Soul Mates.” Vulture, 2 June 2020, https://www.vulture.com/2020/06/insecure-season-4-jay-ellis-issa-lawrence-reunion.html.

Harris, Hunter. “Every Man on Insecure, Ranked.” Vulture, 18 May 2020, https://www.vulture.com/2020/05/insecure-hbo-every-man-ranked.html.  

“Insecure as F**k.” Insecure, written by Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore, directed by Melina Matsoukas, season 1, episode 1, HBO, 9 Oct. 2016.

“Lowkey Happy.” Insecure, written by Natasha Rothwell, directed by Ava Berkofsky, season 4, episode 8, HBO, 31 May 2020.

Turchiano, Danielle. “‘Insecure’s’ Natasha Rothwell on ‘Subversive’ Activism and Reuniting Issa and Lawrence.” Variety, 1 June 2020, https://variety.com/2020/tv/features/insecure-natasha-rothwell-interview-season-4-issa-lawrence-activism-1234622366/amp/.