Mother’s Day

This Mother's Day I’m a mom to a 6-year-old, and I can hardly believe how big that is. Sebastian will be starting kindergarten this fall, which seems unreal. He’s also big for his age, so he looks older. He wears a size 8 in clothes but fits more comfortably in size 10; his feet have rapidly grown to where he can walk around quite nicely in size 2 shoes. I won’t be surprised if he’s the next size up in sneakers by the summer. Once he’s in actual school, it’ll hit me how much of a big kid he is. He’s headed to an autism support class for nonverbal students that our school district offers, so I’m happy his needs will be appropriately met. I’m very proud of his achievements and development. He’s definitely advancing at his pace, but I can see the strides he’s made. While he might not understand full-blown sentences, his receptive language skills are stronger, and he can follow more directions. He’s a mellow, laid-back kid, so sometimes it’s not that he doesn’t understand what you’re saying but that he'd rather continue doing his own thing. At school, he likes to watch what his peers are doing, and if it’s an activity he’s interested in, he’ll join. If it’s not, he’s content playing alone with his animals, and that’s cool, too. I hear he likes going up to girls to greet them in his own nonverbal way; however, once we got a report that he verbally said hi to a girl. That was an exciting day.

For his birthday in April, we didn’t throw a party or cut a cake this time. I had bought tickets to the Bad Bunny concert Friday night in Philadelphia, which happened to be on Sebastian’s birthday. The silver lining of his autism is that we could go without him knowing it was his birthday, so there was zero guilt. On Sunday, we took him to the Build-A-Bear Workshop inside the King of Prussia Mall. I had never gone inside that store before and was eager for the experience. Growing up, we had a Build-A-Bear Workshop at our local mall, but I think it was too expensive for us to go in. To prepare for our visit, Albert went online to see what kind of stuffed bears they had that would interest Sebastian. That’s the key with Sebastian–you have to grab his attention with something he really likes so he stays engaged in an activity. I was delighted to see they had more than just bears. There were dinosaurs (his favorite) and other movie characters he knew. I was relieved because I had already imagined we would have to move quickly through the store to keep him interested in dressing a teddy bear. 

On the hour-long drive to King of Prussia, Sebastian fell asleep, so maybe we should’ve thought better before making the Workshop our first stop. We walked into the mall, and Sebastian was okay because he enjoys walking and looking around, not going inside any stores though. He likes to keep it moving. We quickly reached the lit yellow storefront and blue letters spelling out Build-A-Bear Workshop in all caps. I pictured us taking a photo in front of one of the cute window displays with our custom-made bear. Only a couple of other families were inside as music played over the speakers. Albert held Sebastian’s hand as I explained to him that we needed to choose something to stuff and dress. We spotted a red dinosaur on display and showed it to him, then looked for one we could take to the staff. Sebastian didn’t like that we couldn’t take the display dino. He didn’t understand the concept of the workshop, which is understandable since it was our first time, so I took the dinosaur to get stuffed while Sebastian wanted to head for the exit.

I handed the dinosaur to the staff, and she instructed me to push the pedal on the floor with my foot to work the stuffing. I looked back at Sebastian and noticed he was upset. “He wants to leave,” Albert said. Sebastian pulled his dad’s arm but didn’t take his eyes off me; he wanted to go but not without me, so he started screaming a little. “There’s a sensory day on Tuesdays for the first hour at eleven,” the staff said as she sat on a stool next to the machine that cranked out the white stuffing. “There aren’t as many people, and the music won’t be on. He’s probably overwhelmed by the noise.” I continued tapping the pedal and nodded. I couldn’t help thinking how hard it would be to get there on a Tuesday morning when we both work. Sebastian continued making noises and swung his feet around. Once the dinosaur was stuffed, she instructed me to pick a small red heart. I picked up the plush heart, and she put it inside the dinosaur before stitching it up. In a rush to leave, we didn’t bother selecting any clothes or shoes. I carried the dinosaur to the register while Albert and Sebastian followed. Sebastian was impatient as I paid, and the employee there told me the same thing about their sensory days. Once we were out of the store, Sebastian was calmer but not in any mood for a picture. At least he liked his new dinosaur and held it throughout our walk around the mall. That made me happy. 

King of Prussia Mall

We took him to the Philadelphia Zoo the following weekend, which we knew he would enjoy because he loves animals so much. We brought our 9-year-old nephew, and my sister-in-law met us there. It was a cloudy and chilly day, but it didn’t rain on us. At first, Sebastian just wanted to walk and not stop to look at any animals or go inside any exhibits. We split up and kept walking with Sebastian, so our nephew could see what he wanted. We finally approached the lions who were sleeping. Sebastian loves big cats and watches The Lion King's live-action and animated versions, so I thought he might want to linger there. Instead, he pressed tiger on his communication tablet. That made us laugh, and we obliged. There was a lone tiger behind a tall glass window where you could see his enclosure. Sebastian was all smiles, pushing his face against the thick glass, fingering the edges, itching to get inside. I was thrilled the tiger was active and moving around, often dipping into his pool, pushing a ball in the water with the tip of his nose, and shaking himself off when he climbed out. He took a couple of laps around his enclosure and strolled right in front of us where we could take in his massive size. Sebastian didn’t move. He loved seeing one of his favorite animals up close. We must’ve stood there for a good twenty minutes. Not many things hold his attention like that, so I was very pleased. I was also happy he could use his communication device to tell us what he wanted to see. On our way out Albert noticed a carousel diagonal from where we walked. Sebastian loves riding carousels, but I thought he didn’t see it. I was surprised when he pressed horse on his tablet; I thought he meant he wanted to see a horse at the zoo. “Sorry, Sebastian, there aren’t horses here,” I said. I was worried he would freak out, but then Albert said, “No, he wants to ride the carousel.” I was impressed he’d found a way to request that. The zoo’s carousel had reptiles you could ride instead of horses, but Sebastian was still excited and waited his turn. Albert got a great picture of him and his cousin atop an alligator.   

Philadelphia Zoo

A couple of months ago, I applied for funding so that Sebastian could get assisted riding lessons. He was approved, so soon, he’ll also be in his cowboy era. He has an upcoming evaluation for a helmet fitting and to determine how many walkers he needs beside him. I’m not sure how he’ll do. He doesn’t like wearing hats, and he’s never been on top of a horse before. He'll unexpectedly hop off when he’s on a swing, even though we try to tell him he can’t do that. We’ll see how he does riding a horse. He’s full of surprises, though. Motherhood has been like that too, a ride with ups and downs, failed expectations, and fun surprises. After six years I keep learning that my only job is to guide him; he’s going to be who he is. My favorite part of motherhood has been bonding with other parents and sharing that mutual understanding, especially with parents of kids with autism. I also love sharing Sebastian’s journey and our moments together. He’s a pretty cool kid. He doesn’t know how cool his parents are, too, but what kid does?