Looking Back At 2023
If you saw people posting highlights of their 2023 on Instagram and cringed, you’re not alone. While last year wasn’t my favorite, and I’m glad it’s over, I’ll start this post with gratitude. You can’t do anything without good physical health, and you can’t be happy if you don’t have the ones you love close to you. I’m grateful to say that I was blessed with another year of health and still have my family and friends by my side. As I look back on 2023, I realize it was a year of learning for me that will flow into the growth I expect to see in 2024. Most of my year consisted of working with my esthetician, getting monthly facial treatments and peels to help my breakouts, as I got off birth control at the top of the year and dealt again with hormonal acne. It wasn’t fun or pretty, but I see the benefits now as my skin is clearing up. I also went on Spironolactone in October to further help my skin and started antibiotics last month. Now, I’m learning to love my skin in a whole new way, which makes me really happy because I didn’t appreciate it before when I was on the pill and acne-free. Honestly, what helped me through those tough months of insecurities was therapy.
I started therapy last summer, and the timing couldn’t have been better. It coincided with my breakouts, so I was able to talk to my therapist through all of it. It was so helpful to have someone I could share all my anxieties with, and she was able to help me see what was real and how I could change some of my thinking. I really felt like I wasn’t alone and, along with my facialist, felt like I had a supportive team. Talking to my therapist made me realize how much my skin affected my mental health. And not just my skin but negative thoughts I’ve carried for too long. Having someone guide me and point out some of my abnormal thoughts has been helpful. One of the tools she taught me that I use a lot is focusing on something positive I like about myself when I’m feeling anxious or self-conscious. For me, that’s been my creative writing because it’s one of the things I’m most proud of. We recently finished recording my audiobook for my short novel, Bendito. I consider it one of my top five accomplishments of 2023. As we recorded, I made more edits that I didn’t catch early on, so I’m very happy with the experience. (Side note: If you’re also interested in writing, absolutely read your story out loud before thinking you’re done with it.) Hearing my book aloud is really cool, and I hope more people find it in this format. I’m working on my third story and am excited to have another project to focus on instead of things I can’t control.
Earlier in the year, I wrote about Burnout and wanting a new job. I applied for any writing-related positions I could find but wasn’t having any luck. I finally deactivated my job alerts because applying everywhere and not hearing anything back was too overwhelming. I had also sent emails inquiring about freelance writing opportunities and submitted personal essays to media outlets but didn’t have any luck there either. Taking a break from searching was a good idea because it led to me deciding late in the year that I should just try finding another day job, even if it wasn’t in writing. I’m already writing what I want to write; I just need a change in my 9 to 5. I started applying for positions right before the start of the new year, so hopefully, I’ll have better luck. If anything, it feels good to actively pursue the change I want to see.
11/17/23
The biggest lesson I learned this year was to listen to my body. I don’t know how to explain that exactly. I just know that I’ve always been too much in my head with my own unrealistic thoughts. Sometimes, I didn’t even know if I was okay because I was telling myself I wasn’t. I’m finding more peace now as I work on quieting my mind and letting go. For my 34th birthday this past November, I got a tattoo of the ocean with a sunset. On a drive a couple years ago, that image popped so clearly into my head, followed immediately by the thought that that was happiness. I like to carry that moment around with me permanently on my arm now. In this new year, I’m looking forward to being more at ease. I love horses but have never ridden one, so one of my goals is to go horseback riding in the summer. I also want to take my son because I’ve read there are many therapeutic benefits for autism. So, if your 2023 wasn’t easy or as fun as you might’ve seen in some IG reels, I hope you find things to look forward to in 2024. I think it’s good to reflect on the previous year and come up with ideas on how to make the next one even better.